August 29, 2004

Ode to Matt Drudge

Though our hero, Mr. Drudge, conserves,
The truth steps to light, his headlines show
The emporer naked, cause and effect, what hatred can bestow.

He is voice to the sovereign,
He speaks as one with the maker of our ways
And this is what he has to say, though I doubt he’ll recognize:

I'm the guy making history
My wife the Queen of Clubs
Our reign as one has made us closer, she speaks what is fair

My nemesis, once a lieutenant,
Suffers my arrows, though battles I know not
For this reason, I shall forgo my visit to the Great Ruins lest peasants revolt.

I shall be an edict of my people
Though they shall cry at the gates of my crowning
Plots, threats, destruction and police do not discourage wrath

Across the world, bombs fly through countries not at war
Tropical storms breach this coast
A patriot, a hero, strikes out at me, his king, I am invincible because I say

The above, from the point of view of the "guy making history," is a collection of misquoted and warped Drudge Report headlines for the day.

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